maskofdeception

God
Holy Heaven St # 7
Heaven, 24434-2

dearest god,
hello god how are you today? must be tired from watching over all of us eh? but no god, you never get tired. not like us humans… i for one am feeling very, very lethargic. i dont have the powers like you have. i am just a girl with nothing. so how is heaven right now? must be nice and breezy at this time of the year. send my regards to my grandparents? and also to those who had gone before me.

so, the holidays are coming up eh? i cant believe ramadan is ending. every year, during the last week, i would look back and regret why i didnt pray more. and here i am, doing that once again.

look… god, i know i complain and sulk and i am never satisfied with what i have. i guess it’s just typically human. i should just be happy with what i have right? i know that its quite ironic how we would finally realize what we have when we lose it. i dont want that to happen, god. I dont wanna lose anything.

i’m just tired, god… i dont understand how i can achieve that sense of euphoria. does long lasting happiness really exist? through the 17 years i had lived my life, i experienced only very short moments of happiness. it all happened so fast that it was only when i reminisced, i had realized that it was a happy point. i’m tired god… it just seems that i always have to start over, and over. i can never just continue from before eh? it’s never stabil. its always chaotic.

is there anything i am getting from it god?

have i been acting so foolishly, god? wanting something so much that it made me go crazy? but god, i do hope you can understand my actions- i am just seeking for happiness. i know i had made some promises god…i hope it’ll go as planned…

please dont take it away from me. please make it happen.
please help me rise from my fall,
and please let me understand.

i need it.

thank you god for watching over me. i think it’s time for me to end this letter. i am still fasting…oh right, you already know

yours faithfully,
kemi harahap