maskofdeception

Insomnia is characterized by an inability to sleep and/or to remain asleep for a reasonable period. Most believe that insomnia is itself a sleep disorder,
but it is not. It is a symptom, as insomniacs typically complain of
being unable to close their eyes or ‘rest their mind’ for more than a
few minutes at a time. As opposed to being a sleep disorder, insomnia
is most often caused by sleep disorders, though they are not the only
causes. Other causes include fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs and caffeine. An overactive mind or physical pain may also be the cause of the problem.
    from wikipedia.org

&^%$#@,, i never expected to have a sleeping disorder. maybe its not exactly insomnia. maybe its just the fact that my biological clock is now used to late nights. but whatever it is, it’s truly killing me.

before my winter holidays, there would be a few nights where I found it hard to sleep on days where I was expecting myself to sleep early. And now, the latenights have became somewhat of a routine, and now for almost every single day, though my eyes are dry, my eyelids heavy, my head spinning,,

i just couldn’t sleep.

thoughts were swimming inside of my head, like tiny fishes in the pond. some; didn’t even matter. others; were a matter of life and death. they jumped in and out from one problem to another, just like frogs; the water in the pond vibrating the dances of the frogs into the moonlight. The fishes of thoughts slightly shook and taken aback.

doctors would ask me a few mere questions that they think might help come up with a diagnosis;
1. Do you have a high sugar level?
to this I would answer "yes", as i come from a 2nd generation of diabetics. And to top it off, sweets and alcohol are consumed on a daily basis.
2. Do you consume caffein daily?
and to this one I would say "not really", as I am not much of a coffee drinker, or even a tea drinker. 3. How do you handle stress?

ah. the question of stress. I am not good at handling my own stress, because a. I do not take things easily b. I panic and am very anxious c. I am used to living my life in a complicated, complex and stress-driven way. And that is why my friends, why I do not drink caffein. It gives me over the hill anxiety attacks. (example; the time during Highschool try-outs)

if we go back and analyze the causes of my stress, then a long list will be given by the end of this month (tops!) so let’s just try to see the main causes, shall we?

cultureshock. yes. "the european way" is meant as leisuring, taking things slow and having a good time, "drinking wine and killing time, sitting in the summer sun" (as jaykay from jamiroquai would say). I WISH I CAN DO THAT. nono.. im just used to "the third culture way" which means,, you are used to the spontaneous nature of how life brings you from one place to another. There we go! we live on impulsiveness and the drama.
secondly, little things like "why is the toilet hole in the front?" "why are there so many bicycles?" "why are the dutch so tall?" will make you feel displaced. you long for short, tanned people. you miss the traffic caused by the large number of cars in jakarta. and lastly, you miss how the toilet hole is in the back, not the front.

those small problems will create psychological unsettlement for you.
yes, just because the toilet is disoriented, you lose sleep.

Imagine this,
you wake up one morning and decide to turn on the TV. With no good shows on early in the morn, you decide to flip to CNN.
Surprisingly, you find out that the headline of the morning is about,
1. a riot (woo hoo, another one! yes, and the world just can’t get enough of it!)
2. of muslim protestors (oh no… must it be the muslims?)
3. protesting against a cartoon contraversy (what, it’s just cartoons-)
4. displaying an crude image of the prophet muhammad (WHATTTTTTTT?!!?!?!?!?!)

yes, it is the danish cartoon contraversy i am talking about.

now there are three ways to see this problem:
1. seeing it from a muslim’s p.o.v: this is a rude act as the muslims have never shown an image of the prophet muhammad, moreover in a disrespectful way.
2. seeing it from the danish p.o.v: the "freedome of speech/media" that the westerners are so darn proud about.
3. seeing it from the middle point: the muslims will find this offensive. the danish see it as freedom of media. the way i see it? A WHOLE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING.

see? this is where intercultural communication kicks in. Now I praise the lord for all the trompenaar-hampden turner and hofstede videotapes, pages of "riding the cultural waves" and "software of the mind", EPIC seminars and multicultural endeavours that i had to endure. Now i get it… so this was what they were talking about in chapter blabla about the use of intercultural communication! multicultural misunderstandings can lead to gigantic and dangerous conflicts. like, the riots in Beirut/Damascus for instance.

I guess the P.O.V that best suits mine is P.O.V #3. I am, as they call it, a liberal muslim. Yes, I believe in my religion. But no, I do not believe in the extreme-ist behaviour that some muslims are carrying upon. Take this case for an example, yes, I do believe that these caricatures exhibit a lack of respect for the islamic religion. But why, (i repeat), why, must we (once again) use violence to express our outbursts and condemn-ment? (yes people, i know that condemn-ment is not a real word)

the protests and riots that exploded in the Danish embassy and consulates all over the world makes me feel…. ashamed. yes, you did read correctly, i did say ashamed. The muslim image worldwide has already been tainted with violence and terrorists, and these acts just add up. and what’s this now? a reposting of anti-semitic political cartoons to fight back? a childish act. why don’t we sit down, call in our best diplomats and negotiators, and settle it down like adults.

I am pleased to see that members of an Islamic society in Saudi Arabia had taken this matter seriously and taken upon a more discreet way of protest- by meeting with Danish officials. See? Why can’t we just take a calm approach the way they did?

As the Afghan president Hamid Karzai had said, and I quote, "Islam teaches forgiveness" (VOA).

I think that if we act upon a matter like this with a cool and open-minded demeanour, we shall settle things without any bloodshed, and, we can, (get this)…. we can also dignify our images as the once terrifying and violent people to the forgiving and levelheaded people who are also so nice and kind…

peace. that’s all I want. Oh, most of the world wants that too. xP

Hmm, and one more thing to add before I end my own form of freedom of speech;

the danish government do not have any power over those publications. One person’s view may be different from the others. Just because one (or more) danish people had created despicable caricatures like those, does not mean all of them think the same.
furthurmore, just because a number of muslim groups have used violence as their way to express their feelings, does NOT mean we are all terrorists.

everybody is  their own different individual, their thoughts and personalities will mirrorize the attitudes and values that they have received throughout their lives from their numerous experiences.

signing off,
kem