maskofdeception

jakarta.

whilst taking a break from my media studies assignment (debating on the impact communism has on the chinese media, whoa, the stress!) I took some time to help sheila and axel on their ppt presentation, and i found this picture on the web while i was searching for cultural pics of indonesia.

globalisasi means bullshit? talk about broken english. its quite funny actually,, globalization means bullshit. hm, lets have a look into the issue…

the era of globalization is taking over… the barriers between countries have vanished. But the issue of globalization is still debatable… is globalization truly making the world a better place?

if you think about it, only several countries are participating in globalization; the US, EU, and other major countries with a big economy. To them, globalization makes everything easier. But while the big boys are out there playing ball, third world countries are on the sidelines desperately training and struggling to be able to play in their game.

is indonesia ready for globalization? Indonesia has a big potential for globalization; they have a large labour force, many natural resources, and a big economy. But their technology is still lagging behind and they do not have enough professionals to excel in each field.

however in the recent years the people of my generation have been slowly preparing themselves to take a part in globalization. parents invest heavily in their children; language lessons, technical courses, and the best education indonesia has to offer.  but is that enough for them to survive? in reality, our country’s best exports are still not seen equally by their other international peers. Could the root of the problem be from us? or is it merely the arrogance of the major countries that do not want to see other countries outshining them in their own game?

globalization seems to be one of the major excuses for the cultural changes in asia. it has caused us to see that liberalization is the ultimate key to success within this world. frankly, countries such as China are handling this situation with extra care. the liberalization in their economic system has caused the once closed and communist chinese to adapt towards the western lifestyle. but with this will they start to demand liberalization within their political system? The Chinese government are seemingly working extra hard to keep their communism still intact. "We gave you a liberal economic system. Isn’t that enough for now?"

This matter makes me wonder. What is it that makes the western world seem so modern and fruitful? is it their huge economy? their welfare state? or their modern technology? Could there be any chance that one day those countries that we now orientate ourselves towards would worship us? Maybe in some reversed universe that may happen…

Insomnia is characterized by an inability to sleep and/or to remain asleep for a reasonable period. Most believe that insomnia is itself a sleep disorder,
but it is not. It is a symptom, as insomniacs typically complain of
being unable to close their eyes or ‘rest their mind’ for more than a
few minutes at a time. As opposed to being a sleep disorder, insomnia
is most often caused by sleep disorders, though they are not the only
causes. Other causes include fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs and caffeine. An overactive mind or physical pain may also be the cause of the problem.
    from wikipedia.org

&^%$#@,, i never expected to have a sleeping disorder. maybe its not exactly insomnia. maybe its just the fact that my biological clock is now used to late nights. but whatever it is, it’s truly killing me.

before my winter holidays, there would be a few nights where I found it hard to sleep on days where I was expecting myself to sleep early. And now, the latenights have became somewhat of a routine, and now for almost every single day, though my eyes are dry, my eyelids heavy, my head spinning,,

i just couldn’t sleep.

thoughts were swimming inside of my head, like tiny fishes in the pond. some; didn’t even matter. others; were a matter of life and death. they jumped in and out from one problem to another, just like frogs; the water in the pond vibrating the dances of the frogs into the moonlight. The fishes of thoughts slightly shook and taken aback.

doctors would ask me a few mere questions that they think might help come up with a diagnosis;
1. Do you have a high sugar level?
to this I would answer "yes", as i come from a 2nd generation of diabetics. And to top it off, sweets and alcohol are consumed on a daily basis.
2. Do you consume caffein daily?
and to this one I would say "not really", as I am not much of a coffee drinker, or even a tea drinker. 3. How do you handle stress?

ah. the question of stress. I am not good at handling my own stress, because a. I do not take things easily b. I panic and am very anxious c. I am used to living my life in a complicated, complex and stress-driven way. And that is why my friends, why I do not drink caffein. It gives me over the hill anxiety attacks. (example; the time during Highschool try-outs)

if we go back and analyze the causes of my stress, then a long list will be given by the end of this month (tops!) so let’s just try to see the main causes, shall we?

cultureshock. yes. "the european way" is meant as leisuring, taking things slow and having a good time, "drinking wine and killing time, sitting in the summer sun" (as jaykay from jamiroquai would say). I WISH I CAN DO THAT. nono.. im just used to "the third culture way" which means,, you are used to the spontaneous nature of how life brings you from one place to another. There we go! we live on impulsiveness and the drama.
secondly, little things like "why is the toilet hole in the front?" "why are there so many bicycles?" "why are the dutch so tall?" will make you feel displaced. you long for short, tanned people. you miss the traffic caused by the large number of cars in jakarta. and lastly, you miss how the toilet hole is in the back, not the front.

those small problems will create psychological unsettlement for you.
yes, just because the toilet is disoriented, you lose sleep.

Imagine this,
you wake up one morning and decide to turn on the TV. With no good shows on early in the morn, you decide to flip to CNN.
Surprisingly, you find out that the headline of the morning is about,
1. a riot (woo hoo, another one! yes, and the world just can’t get enough of it!)
2. of muslim protestors (oh no… must it be the muslims?)
3. protesting against a cartoon contraversy (what, it’s just cartoons-)
4. displaying an crude image of the prophet muhammad (WHATTTTTTTT?!!?!?!?!?!)

yes, it is the danish cartoon contraversy i am talking about.

now there are three ways to see this problem:
1. seeing it from a muslim’s p.o.v: this is a rude act as the muslims have never shown an image of the prophet muhammad, moreover in a disrespectful way.
2. seeing it from the danish p.o.v: the "freedome of speech/media" that the westerners are so darn proud about.
3. seeing it from the middle point: the muslims will find this offensive. the danish see it as freedom of media. the way i see it? A WHOLE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING.

see? this is where intercultural communication kicks in. Now I praise the lord for all the trompenaar-hampden turner and hofstede videotapes, pages of "riding the cultural waves" and "software of the mind", EPIC seminars and multicultural endeavours that i had to endure. Now i get it… so this was what they were talking about in chapter blabla about the use of intercultural communication! multicultural misunderstandings can lead to gigantic and dangerous conflicts. like, the riots in Beirut/Damascus for instance.

I guess the P.O.V that best suits mine is P.O.V #3. I am, as they call it, a liberal muslim. Yes, I believe in my religion. But no, I do not believe in the extreme-ist behaviour that some muslims are carrying upon. Take this case for an example, yes, I do believe that these caricatures exhibit a lack of respect for the islamic religion. But why, (i repeat), why, must we (once again) use violence to express our outbursts and condemn-ment? (yes people, i know that condemn-ment is not a real word)

the protests and riots that exploded in the Danish embassy and consulates all over the world makes me feel…. ashamed. yes, you did read correctly, i did say ashamed. The muslim image worldwide has already been tainted with violence and terrorists, and these acts just add up. and what’s this now? a reposting of anti-semitic political cartoons to fight back? a childish act. why don’t we sit down, call in our best diplomats and negotiators, and settle it down like adults.

I am pleased to see that members of an Islamic society in Saudi Arabia had taken this matter seriously and taken upon a more discreet way of protest- by meeting with Danish officials. See? Why can’t we just take a calm approach the way they did?

As the Afghan president Hamid Karzai had said, and I quote, "Islam teaches forgiveness" (VOA).

I think that if we act upon a matter like this with a cool and open-minded demeanour, we shall settle things without any bloodshed, and, we can, (get this)…. we can also dignify our images as the once terrifying and violent people to the forgiving and levelheaded people who are also so nice and kind…

peace. that’s all I want. Oh, most of the world wants that too. xP

Hmm, and one more thing to add before I end my own form of freedom of speech;

the danish government do not have any power over those publications. One person’s view may be different from the others. Just because one (or more) danish people had created despicable caricatures like those, does not mean all of them think the same.
furthurmore, just because a number of muslim groups have used violence as their way to express their feelings, does NOT mean we are all terrorists.

everybody is  their own different individual, their thoughts and personalities will mirrorize the attitudes and values that they have received throughout their lives from their numerous experiences.

signing off,
kem

message log for scharahap@hotmail.com

What a shame the poor groomsbride is a whore. says:
if its okay with you, i
dun mind staying along with you forever  

new years resolution

• take a more mature approach to decisions
• love me better
• avoid smoking
• be more friendly and sociable
• start budgeting
• try a healthy diet
• become a better girlfriend

what’s a girl to do?

i’ve realized that I cannot live without you.

hark the stars and the lover’s moon,
the glitter in the sky as the clock strikes noon
swirls of colors and the tone of your voice
i’m marking the days till we can once again rejoice

the grass so green and wet with tears;
reminiscing the time when you whispered in my ears
the flowers blossoming one late july evening,
the questions in my head, all searching for a meaning.

back again to the cool october breeze,
nevertheless, i’m waiting to be pleased
bitter apologies coming out with a pout,
i give you everything without a doubt.

God
Holy Heaven St # 7
Heaven, 24434-2

dearest god,
hello god how are you today? must be tired from watching over all of us eh? but no god, you never get tired. not like us humans… i for one am feeling very, very lethargic. i dont have the powers like you have. i am just a girl with nothing. so how is heaven right now? must be nice and breezy at this time of the year. send my regards to my grandparents? and also to those who had gone before me.

so, the holidays are coming up eh? i cant believe ramadan is ending. every year, during the last week, i would look back and regret why i didnt pray more. and here i am, doing that once again.

look… god, i know i complain and sulk and i am never satisfied with what i have. i guess it’s just typically human. i should just be happy with what i have right? i know that its quite ironic how we would finally realize what we have when we lose it. i dont want that to happen, god. I dont wanna lose anything.

i’m just tired, god… i dont understand how i can achieve that sense of euphoria. does long lasting happiness really exist? through the 17 years i had lived my life, i experienced only very short moments of happiness. it all happened so fast that it was only when i reminisced, i had realized that it was a happy point. i’m tired god… it just seems that i always have to start over, and over. i can never just continue from before eh? it’s never stabil. its always chaotic.

is there anything i am getting from it god?

have i been acting so foolishly, god? wanting something so much that it made me go crazy? but god, i do hope you can understand my actions- i am just seeking for happiness. i know i had made some promises god…i hope it’ll go as planned…

please dont take it away from me. please make it happen.
please help me rise from my fall,
and please let me understand.

i need it.

thank you god for watching over me. i think it’s time for me to end this letter. i am still fasting…oh right, you already know

yours faithfully,
kemi harahap

deeper and deeper i go,
nothing else but a no-show
you raised the bar and kept me high
threw it far and let it die

farther and farther i went,
no understanding of what it meant
you shook me up and knocked me down
break a cup, and let it frown

stop a second and let it pause
remember that we’re all here with a cause
take the sword to fight temptation
we can’t afford to lose our relation

continue now, come on, press play
you know we can’t have it any other way
just take a step, and walk out tall
our love is kept, together,

we shall crawl.

he drew me closer to the ocean
and introduced me to the world of fiction
where dreams came true and angels were real
gave hope to my empty heart,
kept the promises sealed.

the blankets of clouds up there in the sky,
behind it lays the heavens,
who once heard my cry…
tears become rain,
and the heartstabbing pain..

nothing could heal the emptiness i feel
nothing left in the cold, until the truth comes,

unfold.
                        
                                                                           **********************************

running and jumping towards the end of the road
you open the door to find that sticky yellow note
despair and biddings disposed to a glare
you wake up to find yourself in the witches lair

how intimidating it is, that pointy black hat
the frown that you’re wearing, and also the cat
you’re lost and you don’t know where to go
just eager to leave this masquerade-like show

                                                                           *********************************

sleep sound, baby
sleep sound enough tonight
for when you lay your head to rest,
and leave all the worries off your chest
you shall find me in your dreams
slowly figuring out all the means

flutter away, there goes the fly
flying away, to a fairytale lie
don’t dare wakeup, don’t open your eyes
for when the sunlight hits,
reality arrives.